busan yang amat

Rose-tinted view.And satellites that compromise the truth. I wanted more
With the cuts and the bruises. Touch my face.A hopeless embrace

Faith, it drives me away. But it turns me on. Like a strangers love
It rockets through the universe. It fuels the lies, it feeds the curse
We, too, could be glorious

I need to believe. But I still want more. With the cuts and the bruises. Don't close the door
On what you adore

Faith, it drives me away. But it turns me on. Like a strangers love
It rockets through the universe. It fuels the lies, it feeds the curse
We, too, could be glorious

hate studying..

dontunderstand

its already 7.33, im tired... im sleepy... im seriously fucking trying to sleep.. but i just cant... i dont know why... thing should be simple... its not suppose to be this way... what more can i ask other than happiness.. and fuck sake for that i dont even understand.

ape ko merepek nih?

its past.. something that already happen, something that i cant change, something that i cant alter. I guess thats why we have past tense, old school, thats why we have antique, thats why we have old, and thats why we have memories.
Damn sure i cant change what i've already done. But i have to extremely be fuckin friggin sure that im gonna learn. Learn and bounce back to make every thing's good. Good to me, to people Im gonna face in the future and people in the past.
Im trying to make every moment of my life as exquisite as it is.

--pagi yang gelap kini sudah terang-- :)

thats it

i guess.. thats it.. it just ends.. some 2 years and 3 month something..
how i feel? i don't know. I just don't know...

the 'thing'

teh o suam.. barli suam.. iced longan.. kuey teow kungfu.. cheese.. strawvberri.. hot chocolate.. roxy.. wedges- no high heels.. white-black-red-green.. psycho thriller cum horror muvie.. 5 hours sleep.. VolksWagen.. vintage.. burung 'kuik-kuik'.. clear glass (kalau nak tinted- baik bwat opis)

Its amazing what this 'thing' can do to you.. to human being.. either it can makes your head straight up high or bow down and feeling gloomy. This 'thing' excites human brain and cause so many things, Studies have shown that mental scans of those in this 'thing' show a striking resemblance to those with a mental illness. The 'thing' creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional (though drawing a clear line between physical and emotional is difficult when discussing the brain). This thing can be so dangerous if its not carefully handle. People suffer, people dies in the process.

What concerns me is.. right now i'm high with this thing

have u ever seen the rain

someone told me long ago
here's a calm before the Storm
i know
it's been coming for some time
when it's over so they say
it'll rAin on a sunnY day
i know
shining down like watEr

i wanna know
have you eveR seEn the rain?
i wanNa know
have you ever seen the rain?

coming Down on a sUnny day
yesterday and days before
sun is Cold and rain is hard
i know
t's been that way for all my time
till forever on It goes
through the circle fast and slow
i Know
and it can't stop i wonder

i wanna know
have you ever seen the rain?
i wanna know
have you ever seen the rain?

nothing...

monster in my stomach

since many years, now that feeling comes again, im just so fucking nervous, it feels like when i first step my foot on boarding schools 8 years ago. i just dunno why.. SHyte.. its just an exam, but somehow i don't feel comfortable with it.. who's in the blue moon feel comfortably with exam anyway.. if there is, im sure he/she's not a human at all. Everything doesn't makes sense to me, i often drift away, forget things im suppose to do, making things worse i cant memorize anything i just study... I'm so fucked up.. fell like i got monster in my stomach...

ku pun ta tahu - i also dont know

kadang-kadang ku ta tahu apa ku mahu..
tapi, kadang-kadang ku pasti ku mahu "itu"..
kadang-kadang ku pun tak tahu "itu" mahu ku..
kadang-kadang ku mahu lebih awal..
awal sebelum sesiapa..

sometimes i know what i want
but, sometimes i'm sure i want 'that'
sometimes i even don't know 'that' i want..
sometimes i wish i was early..
early than anyone..

raya oo raya

ooh.. its been a while since my last post.. all this while its been one hell a busy month.
here are some of hari raya photos.. (runs out of idea)..




banyaknye ketupat penat menganyam,
rendang dah masak mari lah rasa,
di hari mulia janganlah muram,
hari yang indah bersuka ria.

aku hanya penat yg amat

kerja ku banyak.. banyak yang amat..
masa ku sikit.. sikit yang amat..
yang lain hanya bising.. bising yang amat..
aku jadi bengang.. bengang yang amat..
namun itu apa boleh ku buat..
berdoa agar semua selamat..
kerna..
kerna ku penat yang amat..

satu malam di bukit bintang..

happy?

am i happy? how happy is happy?
theres one gal said.. happy is measured by your satisfaction..
if thats the case.. of course im not happy..

theres no right or wRong...

paRents will alwaYs be paRents...
what matters is, do they really understand their family
or..
does that really matters..
what matters is, what are the impression from other people about their image
or..
does that really matters..
what matter is, their children have to be better that any children else aside from theirs
or..
does that really matters..
what matters is, when other people words are much more important, even worse much more reliable than their own children..
or does that really matters..

shyte~! i guess even i don't know what really matters

in detail

aaah.. lemme think.. where should i start.. aight, last week - Sunday 10th june, got a call from nippon ask me to lookout for my friends (names that dont want to be mention) , i dont think much at that time.. as soon as i arrived (lendu melaka) im shocked when one of my friend told me that my other friends in lockup.. kinda confusing,, ok lemme put it this way, nippon ask me to look out for my friends (later called as A and B) so, back to the story, it happens that A and B is in lockup, Alor Gajah Police Station..

One of the guilty parties or should i say convict manage to escape (later called as C) so, eventually C is in Kl rite now, work his ass for money to settle the goddamn case, (pity him) what make things interesting is, im the only one who knows where C is, makes me feel guilty for not telling it to my other friend which is A and B, but by telling them make myself guilty as well, Yes, it is what we called betrayal.

So, i made a decission for not telling them and let they settle it themselves. -kapish

then.. last friday 15th june, i got my result and its quite okay, even though its not as i hope to get, but its okay,, as rashid said "at least u have buid a base" then.. i went back home
it was raining, - lets cut the chase, i had an accident, nearly lost my life. The car is badly damaged, but thank got it still can be drived.

arrived at home, im done~! bombared with missiles and motars from my dad and my mom. Not enough from that, things gone bad. When some motherfucker opens my document and found some of my picture - told my mom. i had a fight with my mom.. Things gone worse...

now i know why people said. bad things comes in threes... and somtimes comes in small package - in my case, it comes in two but in big package...
--im done--

hepi ever after?

just get back from my friends wedding.. got a chance to met my long lost schoolmate.. nothing changed... when we all met we'll talked all the old memoirs, bubblin n laughing while insulting each others.. quite fun but literally annoying.. enuf for old shit. the thing that actually shocked my sock is,,.. marriage.. it makes u realize gods power.. destiny and all the "jodoh di tangan tuhan kinda thing" at 1st i thought my friends bride is actually his gf that i met last year,, which is a no no.. it happens that he married another gal.. and because of that i realize all the couple thinggy sometimes last until 5 years doesnt mean a thing if its not ur "jodoh".. kinda awful to say this but actually im afraid of marriage and god knows i dont wanna talk about it.. but when u saw every each of ur friends got this newly wed thinggy... it kinda shock my nerve.. the more i avoid thinkin 'bout this,, the more n much more it'll come.,, shit..
marriage is a whole life time commitment... god knows im still not ready for it..