This song says, no matter who you are,
No matter where you go in your life
At some point you're going to need
Somebody to stand by you.

worried

Im worried.. thinking that this year class could been better but its the other way around. Everything change.. even the sitting position damn change.. cant u just move all your midgets fucking away??? another thing... the grouping change. Last year I was thinking it would be wonderful with the studies, the grouping and it would been better but again, its upside down. I guess I didnt do good last semester. Im worried, soo much that I cant sleep. The same happened last night.
Im worried yet frustrated. I just cant stop thinking on things that I cant change.

sigh... its freakin 2.08am! Even so much I want to blame this to others but I cant. let them be...

ode to ida dayana

ode to Ida dayana

I love the fact that You are the only one I lose my words for

I love the fact that When I get mad your the only one I can ignore

I love it When we used to see each other and couldn't help but smile

I love everything about you especially your style.

I loved the way you treated me different than everyone else

I loved the fact that around you I could be myself

I love you, I said it I love you

Now the thing is I don't know if you love me too

Despite of all the things we've been through

I didn't know what to say but I had so much to express

I wanted to say I love you an I always do

dont do drugs

A story of friend of mine. We've been friends for almost 20 years. But for the last 3 years we haven't contact, yet meet or hangout with each others. Maybe because of his marriage. Married man have bigger responsibilities than me and others - the single one.

Cut the story short, yesterday another friend of mine told me that this guy was busted - taking drugs... ketamine i guess. I was so shock but more of sad to heard this. Im not blaming him at all for his action, the matter of fact he was a good guy, but he was unlucky. The drugs drag him so far as he had left my other friends. More than that he owes load of money from several of my other friends, maybe this is also the reason why the others left him. For me, i don't left him, we just apart, I have my own responsibilities and he has his own. And during this before I heard the story, I assume that he has a wonderful life with his wife and his two cute kids. Again, I was wrong. It was a broken family.

Im not writing this to bitching 'bout my friend but just to remind myself how drugs can change everything in a second.

contribution

what happen today triggers me to write on this subject. Contribution - why people contribute? does it require a reason to contribute? probably yes for some people and for some, they did it because they like it or just because of the good deeds and for some other people they only do it only if they get some return from it.
I pretty hate the last one.. -I only contribute if only I get some return - kalau tak menguntungkan.. aku tanak buat - this kind of people tend to be calculative, manipulative, and one hell a sellfish bitch.. opps..~ mind my language.
But its true. They are the one who like to see other people fail when they can succeed. They are the one who like to cling on for the sake of once personal interest. People who like to step on others in order to succeed while letting aside all the morality. But again, in reality, most of these kind of people tend to be successful (even though not in a good way) especially in politics. Err.. yes this kind of people who like to swing around, acting like they like but at the end of the day, stabbing other people's back. yes.. they are good. (not all politician comes from this group yaaa)
Unfortunately most of the people tend to be fascinates by this people "deeds" while they didn't realize that this kind of people destroy other people's life.
therefore.. may this kind of people rot in hell...

dont bother

once my friend said "dont bother thinking on things that you cant control" yeah.. buts its hard just to put aside all this shit...

its frustrating when we feel that someone always said things behind your back, but that's human, and making things worse i seldom think on this...

...give me wisdom and strength to overcome all this...

thanks guyss

This entries is dedicated to people around me who continually wishes me happy birthday, U guys rockkk~ (include maxis, celcom, jobstreet and HSBC.. lol) Its been more n more exiting wonderful days for me. Thank you so much, Im really grateful and appreciate it so much~!!

kalau ada sumur di ladang,
boleh hamba menumpang mandi;
kalau ada umur yang panjang,
boleh kita berjumpa lagi.

3.17am -23092009

weather change.. people change.. mood changes.. time change.. weather kills.. people kills.. mood kills.. time kills.. please dont change.. please dont "kill" this..

important

“Do not fall in the trap of believing that you are more important than you really are” scott ragsdale

A story on NOKIA N95

Couple of months ago.. I found a Nokia N95 handphone near my apartment. Theres an urge whether I want to take it or give it back to the owner herself. As I was holding it for half an hour, I felt sorry for the owner, so I gave it to the apartment security guards. Four days later the owner manage to get it back from the guards.

Story continues, as in today, just as I'm out from my car, one philipino guy try to sell me a brand new Nokia N95 (I know it was a stolen handphone). Starting price at RM800, bargaining process goes on untill RM550. As I was about to buy the phone, I feel uneasy. Cut the story short I refuse to buy it and urge him to sell it to any handphone shop.

I know it was one of my wish list to own that particular HP model, but I just cant.

relax

im so relax...

learning

As the time goes... I tend to learn more especially about human. About person, how human reacts. Why people lies, why people cheat, why people pretends. To be honest, I hate lies and pretending.

When people ask me on things, I will give a straight answer. Answer that is from me, an honest answer (without thinking about the person's feeling) and thinking that people can accept it - but I was wrong. As I learn about human, I cant do that anymore. Its not that I purposely want it but I just cant. The more you're trying to be yourself, the more you've been drag on other people shit. Its like a quicksand, more you struggle, the more you sink. I realise that human, likes to hear things that they want to hear, if not they dont want to accept it.

I hate to pretend that I like people, and I hate people who cant accept things I said whereas the person can say anything they want to me as if I don't have any feelings at all.

When this happens, I tend to judge people. And I really hate to judge people. This is where I start to choose, start to say things that the person only want to listen. I hate to choose, I hate to judge, I treat everyone I know equally. But I realise, that the world dont work that way. Human dont work that way.

Its truely a learning experience.

focus + multitasking

I don't know whether its true or not.. female are better at multitasking compared to male. For me its true. Yes I admit it that I'm bad in multitasking. I read that there's a gender differences in multitasking. Because there are already biological (females have larger corpus callosum and more white brain cells) and evolutionary explanations (men needed to be focused on hunting trips and war, while females had to engage in multitasking with kids and preparing food)

This last 14 days has been a hectic day for me. From family, burglary, studies, work, relationship and future all jumbled up in this 14 days. Too much for me I guess, yet I have to solve it even though I'm not very efficient in multitasking. I tend to lose focus on certain things, I tend to forgot on minor things, small things and other important thing that should be settled one at a time. It caused me mere panic attack. sigh...

acknowledge

I hate people who needs other people to acknowledge things that they did... nuff said.

letter of the year

"priority"

"You can't move so fast that you try to change the mores faster than people can accept it. That doesn't mean you do nothing, but it means that you do the things that need to be done according to priority" - Eleanor Roosevelt

I spend most of the time on things that is not my priority... its others priority. Im navigating my focus on my priorities now.

-my family-
-my life-
-my future-

choose ...

quote

as Im working.. I learned so many words or should I say quote... and its funny ;
list of quote/ words with person who started it :

• lala (joshini)
• be a man!!!! Do the right thing!!!! (suresh)
  
• lansi
  
• kancheong (suresh)
• my frieeeeeennnd... (suresh)
• this is where I leave the conversation
  
• pegi mati (tan sri)
• nice fxxk off email
  
• toot toot toot (everyone in the department)
• the world is not against you (nosh)
• tahi (everyone T_T)
  

there'll be more!!

weak

im weak... im not well.. im sick... i even have difficulties to breath. I cant go to work tomorrow.. hope they'll understand...

update update

for the sake of updating...
its been a while since my last post, i've been busy plus had limited access to the world wide web. Lots had happened, ive never been happy, my parents n sister just came back from mecca for the Haj.
I received my final results.. n i'm so xcited 'bout it, when first i received it.. i was stunned.. and i was like starring at the monitor looking at the result for like 3 minutes.. i just cant believed it, that i did it... and im so grateful for it.
Theres another 1 semester left. and im on my internship rite now. Days never been better except busier. I gain new friends and more than that i met several long lost friends. People moved... people changed.. so am i..

-new year 2009 - Hope for the best.. errr, it has to be better than the best.